Today be the person you were too lazy to be yesterday

This is an open letter to the 2 female servers at Gateway Bowling Lanes working sometime around 430 pm on July 31, 2014.

I'm sorry if my size is an issue for you or grossed you out. So much so that you had to point and stare and do the "I'm popular, you're not" heads together thing while talking. Even though I couldn't hear what you were saying, I knew it couldn't be good, because you would stop talking and all that every time I would look at you. But looking at your not so perfect, over weight bodies, you're not happy with your looks. I'm sorry that you feel bad about your weight that it's easier to mock someone else than to look in the mirror. 

I'll also have you know that as I held my head high walking out of the bowling lanes & waited to cry until I was alone, I had 2 amazing pre-teen girls with me that are just in the midst of learning to love themselves for the different sizes that they are, it was more important for them to not be affected by bullies like you, who take to putting someone down who is over weight. Who's the better person? Who's the role model? Not you. I may not be 120 pounds and I may not be able to shop for the newest trendiest clothing but what I lack in that department, I have in abundance, in heart, love, 

compassion, trust, knowledge, and all the other wonderful attributes, that you and people like you will never get to see because you judge people solely on their looks and their weight.

And as I held my head high, unmoved as you mocked me, pretending that your actions had no effect on me, I have feelings the same as you and what you did hurt. Had you teased me 6 months ago about my weight, I would have let that ruin me for days, but know that I have changed & you did not ruin the rest of my day, this kind of petty thing is not so important anymore because I know that I am doing something to change the weight, BUT I am not doing it to please anyone but me.

It's people like you who make the world a hateful, disgusting place. I can't help but feel sorry for you when this sort of thing happens to you one day, or if it already has. I feel sorry that you have judged yourselves for being "gross", that you feel that you don't meet the standards that the world sets on us women to be bone skinny, with no personality, to be consumed with the falseness and that fake world, to look the same as the next person, to not be the individual that we are meant to be, regardless of what size we are. 

We are human and we are not perfect. And once people like you learn to love themselves, there will always be bullies out there to judge people like me because I'm FAT. 

I just hope one day you will be a better person and be proud of the journey, you have trekked and that it is your body that shows the battle map and scars of where you have been and what you accomplished.