Is Life really passing me by?

When you heal the child, you heal the community;
when you heal the community, you heal the child O. Mercredi 

I've come to the realization that life is passing me by. I guess it always has, it's just that I have kept myself too busy to notice. Now that I haven't been "busy" for some time, it really has caught up with me.

I'm just scared that I am not going to figure it out and lose time doing just that. 

Many people already settled into marriage and kids and jobs at this stage of life and I feel like I am just starting. I feel so far away from my "dreams" and that they may never get accomplished and it will be time to "retire"

Fear does not...

Fear does not prevent death

It prevents life.

Naguib Mahfouz

What a revelation!

Aren't we all afraid of something? 

I realized that some of my fears are preventing me from living.  This day will be a turning point for me. 

Will it be for you?

Connecting with people

Well that was a sleepless night. I come to realize that once in a while I need to connect to a voice, hear a voice.  It makes me depressed to not hear a voice.  Texting, that's all fine and dandy but once a week isn't enough. Or feeling like there must be something wrong if I am texting.  That is part of what happened tonight, I was all good till then.  But to assume right off the bat that something is wrong and that I need your full attention.

Usually there is something wrong, when I haven't talked to you in x amount of days, it means I miss you and want to chat or be able to spend time with you.  I am asking you to take the time to talk.  I just need that friendship sometimes.  I am asking you to take some time and pay attention to me in your schedule. Is that too much to ask?

I also get depressed when I don't hear from you and I have to be the one to reach out.  Then I feel like a leech asking you to spend time with me and then you feel obligated to do something.

I don't care if it just coffee or the whole day.  I don't care if all I do is sit there with you and say nothing at all, do nothing at all. Sometimes I just need a connection.

A lot to learn

A Lot to Learn

I've learned 

That you can't make someone love you

That it takes years to build up trust and seconds to destroy it

That it's not what you have but who you have that counts

That you can only get by on charm for about 15 minutes, after that you better know something

That you shouldn't compare yourself to others

That you can do something in an instant, that'll give you heartache for a lifetime

That its taken me a long time to become the person I want to be and I am not done

Depart your loved ones with love, it may be your last chance

That you keep going long after you can't

THat we're responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel

That you either control your attitude or it controls you

That heroes are those that do things needed to be done no matter what

That money is a lousy way of keeping score

That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and still have fun

That sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel

That our past may influence who we are but not who we become

That we don't have to change friends because friends change

The credentials on the wall don't make you a more decent, better person

That it 's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and still standing up for what you believe in.

that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it

that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it

sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up

that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them

and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated

that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it

that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to

can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological

that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself

-Omer B Washington

I have used these to sometimes come back to the person I want to be